Self Love 101: How to Stop Shaming Yourself


Self Love 101: How to Stop Shaming Yourself

When it comes to self love, some of us have a better handle on it than others because those lucky souls have learned to accept themselves for who they really are. And it’s a lesson that we could all benefit from.

We all have those times when we feel like we’re not good enough–not smart enough, not pretty enough, not eloquent enough. We think that if anyone found out who we actually were behind the projection screen, they’d hate us. So we hate ourselves instead. That’s when comparison thinking gets more pronounced. Everyone else is richer, more fashionable, and more together.

We’re all human, that’s why we have these ups and downs. As if sometimes we could take on the world and other times we’re completely worthless.

What’s your take on self love? And how susceptible are you to self shaming in your life?

Why not take steps to stop shaming yourself? These steps will help you get started:

-Stop worrying what other people think so much.

The projection of who people think you are isn’t real anyway so stop worrying so much what people think about who you are. Self love comes from doing the best you can in life and then letting the chips fall where they may. Some people are going to like you and some aren’t. But trying too hard to maintain control is a waste of time. Love yourself enough to stop worrying so much what people think.

-Perfection isn’t perfect.

You’re never going to be perfect so striving for perfection all the time is just another stressor. Everyone has baggage. Everyone. And trying to be the most beautiful at-ease specimen just isn’t realistic. Regardless of what Facebook or Instagram tells us, we all have personality faults, big and small, and we all crumble sometimes.

-Love all of you.

Loving the positive qualities in yourself is easy but true self love comes from loving positive and negative qualities. You’re a mixed bag so accept the whole lot. Who says that the qualities you deem so shameful are really even that bad? One tool for creating this all around self love is through meditation. When thoughts or feelings come up in meditation, resist the urge to label them as bad or good. Instead, just notice that they arise during meditation. This way, you won’t have such a reaction to the qualities that cause self shaming in your life.

-Stop the negative talk.

What you say to yourself matters. We can be our own worst critics. Notice when you start chastising yourself for one reason or another and cool it. Words matter, so what you say to yourself and about others shapes your perception of the world over and over again. Be aware of your inner monologue.

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Heart in hands image by Shuttershock

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Sara Novak