desire, FDA, flibanseran, pleasure, Sex, sexy, viagra -

Female Viagra: Selling Desire, Not Fixing the Female Libido Problem

female viagra: selling desire, not fixing the female libido problem

Sex sells. And Sprout Pharmaceuticals just scored the diamond ring with the FDA approval of its previously rejected female Viagra drug Flibanserin. But is it just selling us the image of desire or can it authentically fix our female libido problems? 

This libido issue has been recognized as a “medical” problem, initially termed hypoactive sexual desire (H.S.D.D. ) with its own diagnostic code until 2013 when it was renamed female sexual interest/arousal disorder (F.S.I.A.D.).  The name change, as silly as it sounds, is important because it indicates a new and more accurate understanding of a more realistic sexual response cycle for women. The idea that this new pink Viagra treats a disorder that isn’t even still in the books only adds insult to injury when you consider both the significant side effects, including fainting and low blood pressure from Flibasnserin (a failed antidepressant), and the almost non-existent increase in sexual response.   

Only two days after the approval of Flibanserin, Sprout Pharmaceuticals, a company of less than 40 employees, was sold for $1 billion, easily covering the $100 million dollar initial investment, spent mostly on an elaborate social media campaign equating a dubious drug approval to equal rights for women. The one good thing that has come from the FDA drug approval and even the bogus PR movement “Even the Score” developed to persuade the FDA to cave on the drug, is that now we can speak freely and honestly about female libido- and the fact that most women want more of it, but often have no idea how to get it. 

How about we begin instead with some basic sex education and dispel a few persistent myths about how libido works as well as how it changes. The persistent and harmful belief that sexual desire is or should be spontaneous is where the trouble starts. We all remember those initial early stirrings of sexual hunger, when it was some odd animal unleashed in us, just by being near the crush of the month, or even the frenzied, rip-your-clothes off feelings in the biologically driven stage of falling in love. Who doesn’t love that kind of spontaneous eruption of desire? It’s like surfing a giant wave, or dancing around a bonfire. So yes, there are times- rare and beautiful as they are- when our libido spontaneously takes us on a fantastic ride, sometimes resulting in an over the top orgasm.   

And then there is life: children, bills, figuring out the Feng Shui of correct furniture placement, dealing with in-laws, trying to progress in careers, cars breaking down, and you know… getting to an exercise class. Somehow, spontaneous sexual desire doesn’t usually mix in this list. This is where we have to start working for a new and more reliable form of libido. As adults, this is the moment when we have to both want and learn how to generate our capacity for desire. And this is where the libido story falls apart for most women. Study participants stated, “Once I started, it wasn’t an issue. It was getting me started.” And “I hate having to ‘wind myself up’ to do it,” said another participant. “It makes me feel broken.”  These comments reflect the real problem with female libido, that most women don’t understand: what makes desire work over the long-term is being willing to own and cultivate our erotic selves.   

It is a big leap to take responsibility for our own erotic impulses. It is much easier to let them lie dormant under a giant stack of old guilt or wounds of  being sexual, emotional disconnection from our partner, silent shame about our body image, or just having no idea about how to access a fantasy life. It is grown-up business that requires both curiosity and commitment to our erotic soul for it to flourish. And most women equate that work with being broken. We know now that desire is not usually the leader- just waking up our capacity to be aroused is enough to kick desire awake. And arousal is available through any of our senses if we go looking for it.

Giving up the longing for spontaneous desire to take you over and leaning towards getting good at cultivating responsive desire is the only pill you need to take.  Not only will you avoid the pain and embarrassment of frequent fainting spells, which will not help your libido, but you will invent exciting new pathways in your brain to actually get to the passion we all truly want.

Stay tuned in the next weeks for real ideas on how to make your own desire cure.

Related on EcoSalon

John Oliver: Sex Ed Teacher of the Year [Video]

Other Appropriate Reactions to Totally Sexist Questions and Comments

3 Companies that Make Sustainable Sex Sexy

Image licensed via Shutterstock

The post Female Viagra: Selling Desire, Not Fixing the Female Libido Problem appeared first on EcoSalon.


Tags